1844 7th Ave., Oakland

I’m in Oakland, California! I look around at me and I look at my life and I never could have conceived it that I’d be here. It seems incongruous. I should feel like this is a new start, being in the Bay Area should feel fresh. It doesn’t. I’m still me, I still carry all the luggage and shit that has made my life. It’s still all here. It can change. I can weed out my roots and establish myself as West Coast. West Coast. Wow!



Today was the second day of Orientation at Golden Gate. I left early because it was getting boring and I had shit to do. Why do I have this feeling that I won’t be making any friends at law school? One of the deans gave a talk today, a real hard-nosed bitch. Somehow it fits in with the stereotype of the law field. What stereotype? Whatever.

She gave us quite a scare, she started getting me anxious about grades, exams, and workloads and I’m not supposed to care about any of this. This isn’t my culture, this isn’t what I want to do. Failing out of law school will be no loss to me. I fear that despite my attitude, my expectation might go up. I don’t want to do poorly in anything I do, even if I didn’t want to do it in the first place.

1844 7th Ave., Oakland

We never discussed what it means to really live. I guess it was all somewhere implied. The stuff of senses. The stuff of what reaches our senses. They are only symbols, signposts, indications for us to define our surroundings. What happens when you remove the meanings? To sense and not define.