Dear Josephine: How you feel about last night is exactly right and there is nothing to worry about. I was concentrating on my responsibility, too, and I never had any bad feelings last night. My mind was focused on caring for you because I realize how valuable you are to me and how much I want you in my life. I realize my mistake from before how I would become distant from you when things started to go wrong, and how I should concentrate on being right there for you. That doesn't mean doing anything, since you have to get through your feelings alone, but staying with you in my heart.
Of course the parking thing was nothing, it's interesting how human emotions work though, because things were a little funny after that, and it had nothing to do with parking. I guess the way human emotions work and how they are effected is sometime automatic, no matter what the intention. So the substance may be nothing, but the expression and reaction of something may affect and completely control what feelings come out and saying, "just kidding" doesn't fix it. But I think we handled it pretty well, because even if we didn't act on it, we knew that there was a big "just kidding" in there and we didn't let it become a big thing.
Monday, August 31, 1998
email - San Francisco
Dear Koji: I love you, too. I am very happy when you say that I make you happy. You are very special. You are smart and funny. Nobody can compare to you. I don't mind that I can do nothing only make you happy. Nothing can buy when we laugh together. That is so precious to me.
Did I irritate you when I told you that you park too far from the restaurant tonight? I know that I didn't make you angry because you won't get angry that easily. I was just saying that and didn't mean to be demanding. I like to walk with you. I am happy that you told me I looked scared. I knew that I did not look so natural. I also appreciate that you told me my smile was fake and you said it is OK. I did feel uncomfortable at that time. After I got home, I felt less worried. As I told you, my life has a construction going on now. I have overcome the confidence and security issues in a relationship and then I found out that "worry" is more difficult to me. I found being alone help me work on this issue, and being honest is useful too. Like now, I am talking to you about that parking thing tonight. That "parking thing" is not a big deal at all, I know, but it is good to tell you in order to get rid of any emotional debt. I was just worried that what I said irritated you and I kind of blamed myself, because I won't be so happy if I drive a long way to find parking and people in the car still say it is too far. That is why I looked so uncomfortable and fake. You know, I just can't lie, my face will tell everything. I love being with you and I love you. I am ready to face and solve any challenge that will be given to our relationship.
Honey, I appreciate that you make me feel you are right beside when we are apart and that is a happy thought. Honey, thank you for telling me the truth because it helps me to recognize what I still have to work on. So, just tell me "hey, you know, your smile is so damn fake." And, I will say, " you are damn right, can I be alone for a while, damn it." And we will laugh and then I will be alone and think about it seriously. Honey, I am not changing myself for you, it is just because I realized how nice it is to be myself. It is all mental. Do not forget.
Did I irritate you when I told you that you park too far from the restaurant tonight? I know that I didn't make you angry because you won't get angry that easily. I was just saying that and didn't mean to be demanding. I like to walk with you. I am happy that you told me I looked scared. I knew that I did not look so natural. I also appreciate that you told me my smile was fake and you said it is OK. I did feel uncomfortable at that time. After I got home, I felt less worried. As I told you, my life has a construction going on now. I have overcome the confidence and security issues in a relationship and then I found out that "worry" is more difficult to me. I found being alone help me work on this issue, and being honest is useful too. Like now, I am talking to you about that parking thing tonight. That "parking thing" is not a big deal at all, I know, but it is good to tell you in order to get rid of any emotional debt. I was just worried that what I said irritated you and I kind of blamed myself, because I won't be so happy if I drive a long way to find parking and people in the car still say it is too far. That is why I looked so uncomfortable and fake. You know, I just can't lie, my face will tell everything. I love being with you and I love you. I am ready to face and solve any challenge that will be given to our relationship.
Honey, I appreciate that you make me feel you are right beside when we are apart and that is a happy thought. Honey, thank you for telling me the truth because it helps me to recognize what I still have to work on. So, just tell me "hey, you know, your smile is so damn fake." And, I will say, " you are damn right, can I be alone for a while, damn it." And we will laugh and then I will be alone and think about it seriously. Honey, I am not changing myself for you, it is just because I realized how nice it is to be myself. It is all mental. Do not forget.
Saturday, August 29, 1998
email - 198 Shakespeare St., San Francisco
dear Josefina, I love you so much. It feels like I love you more every day, but I thought I loved you so much last year, and now I love you more. So how much did I love you last year? And how much will I love you next year? Even more? It's hard to imagine. I appreciate every day you're in my life. You're beautiful and sexy and funny and cute and sincere and you make my life interesting and fun and funny. Maybe when you find the right person, love has no limits and it just keeps growing and growing.
Tuesday, August 25, 1998
email - Englewood Cliffs, NJ
Dear yu-feng,
This is my last day here and I haven't done Sompong's exam yet. I've wasted the whole week here.
I visited my brother in Philadelphia on Sunday, but as I was getting into the car, I learned that my parents changed their plans and were also going. That really ruined my trip. Visiting my brother with my parents is completely different from just visiting him myself.
But family is just not worth getting mad or defensive about. With family, everything is set in stone and no one is going to change, so there's never a better way to handle problems. The only alternative to getting mad and defensive is ignoring it.
superficial lives they lead, empty, lifeless. They've spent their entire lives making money money money so that they can enjoy it now in their old age. NOW they're starting to have fun. They travel twice a year, they have their entertainment center at home, sing karaoke, do dancing, and it is just so pathetic. I don't know about the dancing, but the singing and the music is just so empty, no emotion, no heart. What you do your whole life is the center of your life. For them it was making money, and it shows in what they do now, it's all money centered. They have the disposable cash and what they do now for fun is an expression of spending it. Singing is not about singing, dancing is not about dancing, traveling is not about traveling, it's all about spending money that they've worked so hard to earn.
I feel like I was just an obligation, an expectation. They had to raise kids because that's what is expected of them. Do I love my parents? Hell no. I appreciate them and what they've done, I respect what they do and won't criticize them or show disapproval to their faces, but I certainly don't love them and won't cry when they die. I'll go to the funeral because it's an obligation and to pay respects and say thank you. But just because you're grateful, doesn't mean you love them.
All they've given was money. No knowledge, wisdom, or heart. They can't tell me what to do or pressure me. They can talk all they want, they can tell me what I should do, what they want me to do, where I should go, who I should be with, and it has no effect on me.
Series VIII, Roll 11 (Pentax ZX-5n, Tri-X): Walk along the Palisades, Englewood Cliffs
Allison Park, Englewood Cliffs:
Frame 3 - Not to be confused with Allison Park in Englewood, which is adjacent to the Flat Rock Brook Nature center.
Frame 4
Frame 5
Frame 6
Frame 7
Frame 9 - This fence borders Allison Park. For high school track, when we ran to the George Washington Bridge along the Palisades, we would run past the park and along this fence which led to the path that continues to the bridge.
The path to the bridge:
Frame 10
Frame 11
Frame 12 - the path goes by a gas station off the Palisades Parkway. People have fallen of the cliffs at this point and died when the restrooms at the gas station would be locked and they'd go looking for a place to go after dark.
Frame 13
Frame 15
Frame 18
Frame 19 - They developed that area on the Hudson for recreational use. I don't remember what was there before or if that large piece of land was even there. It may be landfill. Growing up in the area, I went down to the boat basin relatively often, and there is a path along the Hudson that leads to where that land is. I remember walking down that path, but I don't remember what was at the end.
Frame 20 - It's strange how after September 11, 2001, any image of the World Trade Center takes on new meaning.
Frame 21
This is my last day here and I haven't done Sompong's exam yet. I've wasted the whole week here.
I visited my brother in Philadelphia on Sunday, but as I was getting into the car, I learned that my parents changed their plans and were also going. That really ruined my trip. Visiting my brother with my parents is completely different from just visiting him myself.
But family is just not worth getting mad or defensive about. With family, everything is set in stone and no one is going to change, so there's never a better way to handle problems. The only alternative to getting mad and defensive is ignoring it.
superficial lives they lead, empty, lifeless. They've spent their entire lives making money money money so that they can enjoy it now in their old age. NOW they're starting to have fun. They travel twice a year, they have their entertainment center at home, sing karaoke, do dancing, and it is just so pathetic. I don't know about the dancing, but the singing and the music is just so empty, no emotion, no heart. What you do your whole life is the center of your life. For them it was making money, and it shows in what they do now, it's all money centered. They have the disposable cash and what they do now for fun is an expression of spending it. Singing is not about singing, dancing is not about dancing, traveling is not about traveling, it's all about spending money that they've worked so hard to earn.
I feel like I was just an obligation, an expectation. They had to raise kids because that's what is expected of them. Do I love my parents? Hell no. I appreciate them and what they've done, I respect what they do and won't criticize them or show disapproval to their faces, but I certainly don't love them and won't cry when they die. I'll go to the funeral because it's an obligation and to pay respects and say thank you. But just because you're grateful, doesn't mean you love them.
All they've given was money. No knowledge, wisdom, or heart. They can't tell me what to do or pressure me. They can talk all they want, they can tell me what I should do, what they want me to do, where I should go, who I should be with, and it has no effect on me.
Series VIII, Roll 11 (Pentax ZX-5n, Tri-X): Walk along the Palisades, Englewood Cliffs
Allison Park, Englewood Cliffs:
Frame 3 - Not to be confused with Allison Park in Englewood, which is adjacent to the Flat Rock Brook Nature center.
Frame 4
Frame 5
Frame 6
Frame 7
Frame 9 - This fence borders Allison Park. For high school track, when we ran to the George Washington Bridge along the Palisades, we would run past the park and along this fence which led to the path that continues to the bridge.
The path to the bridge:
Frame 10
Frame 11
Frame 12 - the path goes by a gas station off the Palisades Parkway. People have fallen of the cliffs at this point and died when the restrooms at the gas station would be locked and they'd go looking for a place to go after dark.
Frame 13
Frame 15
Frame 18
Frame 19 - They developed that area on the Hudson for recreational use. I don't remember what was there before or if that large piece of land was even there. It may be landfill. Growing up in the area, I went down to the boat basin relatively often, and there is a path along the Hudson that leads to where that land is. I remember walking down that path, but I don't remember what was at the end.
Frame 20 - It's strange how after September 11, 2001, any image of the World Trade Center takes on new meaning.
Frame 21
Monday, August 24, 1998
Englewood Cliffs, NJ
Looking at new stages in life and growing up and older and the meaning of it all. Maturity inevitably comes and world views change. In many ways, Kurt Cobain is to be envied by those of us who don’t subscribe to the inevitable maturation which is synonymous with conformity.
To me, “conformity” is even worse. It means accepting the normative matrix of the material world around me. It is not just learning to go with the flow and entering the cycles of regular human lives, it means throwing away my whole understanding of my place in the world.
It means changing from an observer, which I feel much more comfortable with, to being a participant, becoming insignificant in the bustle of human intercourse. No, I don’t want to live that long, no I don’t want to live a long life, no I don’t want to be a part of these nothing lives that don’t see past the surfaces of things.
It is so easy to get caught up in things and lose sight of what’s important to me. And not getting caught up into an average nothing life is important to me. Vacation is almost up. Bangkok is done, Geneva is done, New Jersey is done, time to work on Sompong’s final exam and finish up my thesis, plenty of research coming up in the next few months.
The only thing I have to look forward to is Josephine and our new relationship. Everything has been just fine since I got back from Bangkok, and better than any time before. It’s easing into a new comfort and confidence, and as distressing as it is to know that living together will be a major problem in the future, it’s nice to have a functional relationship.
To me, “conformity” is even worse. It means accepting the normative matrix of the material world around me. It is not just learning to go with the flow and entering the cycles of regular human lives, it means throwing away my whole understanding of my place in the world.
It means changing from an observer, which I feel much more comfortable with, to being a participant, becoming insignificant in the bustle of human intercourse. No, I don’t want to live that long, no I don’t want to live a long life, no I don’t want to be a part of these nothing lives that don’t see past the surfaces of things.
It is so easy to get caught up in things and lose sight of what’s important to me. And not getting caught up into an average nothing life is important to me. Vacation is almost up. Bangkok is done, Geneva is done, New Jersey is done, time to work on Sompong’s final exam and finish up my thesis, plenty of research coming up in the next few months.
The only thing I have to look forward to is Josephine and our new relationship. Everything has been just fine since I got back from Bangkok, and better than any time before. It’s easing into a new comfort and confidence, and as distressing as it is to know that living together will be a major problem in the future, it’s nice to have a functional relationship.
Sunday, August 23, 1998
Friday, August 21, 1998
Dear Koji,
So, you finished your mission and came back. Wonderful job! I think you are great. When people asked me about you, I just told them "Oh, he went to Geneva and made a presentation in the U.N." So proud. You also went to see the Rhone and the L'Arve flow together. I can imagine that must be very very cool. Green and blue and brown. You are very cool too because you even thought of going to see how the two rivers meet. I will never get bored if I go travel with you. I think it is also very romantic to see the two rivers meet. These two rivers are so different that people wonder how they run together. But, as it turns out, where they meet is so attractive and beautiful and dramatic. And then, both of them become Lake Geneva. Wow, this can be a starting of a novel.
So, you finished your mission and came back. Wonderful job! I think you are great. When people asked me about you, I just told them "Oh, he went to Geneva and made a presentation in the U.N." So proud. You also went to see the Rhone and the L'Arve flow together. I can imagine that must be very very cool. Green and blue and brown. You are very cool too because you even thought of going to see how the two rivers meet. I will never get bored if I go travel with you. I think it is also very romantic to see the two rivers meet. These two rivers are so different that people wonder how they run together. But, as it turns out, where they meet is so attractive and beautiful and dramatic. And then, both of them become Lake Geneva. Wow, this can be a starting of a novel.
Thursday, August 20, 1998
email - Englewood Cliffs, NJ
Dear josephine
I'm back in the U.S. I did some shopping in the U.N. gift shop on my last day in Geneva and I thought I deserved a special memento of my ten minutes of U.N. spotlight, so I bought myself a Universal Declaration on Human Rights 50th anniversary commemorative Swatch!! I won't wear it, but I'll keep it as a collector's item.
After the U.N. I decided to walk down the Rhone River and explore and it was the best time exploring I had in Geneva. I should have done it my first day there. For me, it's just natural to gravitate towards water, so if there was a river, I'm surprised I didn't explore it. The Rhone is a beautiful fast moving river that drains Lake Geneva, but never succeeds. People swim in the Rhone, so it's clean and I was surprised that I could see past the surface. it was a beautiful blue-green color. Several hundred years ago, people probably took it for granted that they could see all the way to the bottom of the river it was so clear, now it's a surprise to be able to see past the surface.
The Rhone isn't the only river flowing through Geneva, the L'Arve also flows through Geneva and joins the Rhone not very far from Lake Geneva. The L'Arve is very different. It is slow, brown, muddy, and ugly. So I was very curious to see what happens when the two rivers meet. So that's where I went exploring and it was fascinating!!
I was able to get to the piece of land right where the two rivers join. From there, I saw that there was a bridge that looked down right over that point. So I explored some more to find the bridge. Eventually I made it to the bridge, which had train tracks running on it, but also had a walkway for pedestrians.
It was really neat looking down and seeing the two rivers interact. The Rhone is the dominant river with its clear blue water. It overpowers the slow, muddy brown water of the L’Arve, but right where they meet it was really beautiful. The fast blue water of the Rhone would flow into and mix with the brown water of the L'Arve and there would be these feathery swirls and whirlpools of brown and blue water. I would never have been able to imagine such a beautiful sight.
An annoying thing happened to me while I was in Geneva. I felt myself lapsing back into the old personality. I guess it was being in a foreign country and a foreign language and my overpowering impulse to be polite and not come across as a typical rude American. But my personality overdoes it, and I get so polite that I become dysfunctional and paranoid and worried about every little detail of what everyone MIGHT be thinking about me. The way I want to be is not afraid to make mistakes, not afraid to take risks and look like an idiot, and not care what people think.
So, on my last night here I was in line at the McDonald's, and I had already caught on that people don't order meals by asking for a "number one". I did that once and the person had to look at the menu to see what that was. So I was standing in line and I heard the person behind me say MAcSalsa, and I noticed the long MAc, rather than the short "Mic" that Americans say. And instead of Big Mac meal, the menu said "Big Mac menu", and I remembered how Thais say "menu" differently and thought about how the French would say it. So when I got to the counter I very confidently said "Beeg MAc Menyuuu", and it worked!! She says, "Beeg MAc Menyuuuu" back to me and then says something in French that stuns me in my shoes. So I just go "oui", and that worked, too!!!
I'm back in the U.S. I did some shopping in the U.N. gift shop on my last day in Geneva and I thought I deserved a special memento of my ten minutes of U.N. spotlight, so I bought myself a Universal Declaration on Human Rights 50th anniversary commemorative Swatch!! I won't wear it, but I'll keep it as a collector's item.
After the U.N. I decided to walk down the Rhone River and explore and it was the best time exploring I had in Geneva. I should have done it my first day there. For me, it's just natural to gravitate towards water, so if there was a river, I'm surprised I didn't explore it. The Rhone is a beautiful fast moving river that drains Lake Geneva, but never succeeds. People swim in the Rhone, so it's clean and I was surprised that I could see past the surface. it was a beautiful blue-green color. Several hundred years ago, people probably took it for granted that they could see all the way to the bottom of the river it was so clear, now it's a surprise to be able to see past the surface.
The Rhone isn't the only river flowing through Geneva, the L'Arve also flows through Geneva and joins the Rhone not very far from Lake Geneva. The L'Arve is very different. It is slow, brown, muddy, and ugly. So I was very curious to see what happens when the two rivers meet. So that's where I went exploring and it was fascinating!!
I was able to get to the piece of land right where the two rivers join. From there, I saw that there was a bridge that looked down right over that point. So I explored some more to find the bridge. Eventually I made it to the bridge, which had train tracks running on it, but also had a walkway for pedestrians.
It was really neat looking down and seeing the two rivers interact. The Rhone is the dominant river with its clear blue water. It overpowers the slow, muddy brown water of the L’Arve, but right where they meet it was really beautiful. The fast blue water of the Rhone would flow into and mix with the brown water of the L'Arve and there would be these feathery swirls and whirlpools of brown and blue water. I would never have been able to imagine such a beautiful sight.
An annoying thing happened to me while I was in Geneva. I felt myself lapsing back into the old personality. I guess it was being in a foreign country and a foreign language and my overpowering impulse to be polite and not come across as a typical rude American. But my personality overdoes it, and I get so polite that I become dysfunctional and paranoid and worried about every little detail of what everyone MIGHT be thinking about me. The way I want to be is not afraid to make mistakes, not afraid to take risks and look like an idiot, and not care what people think.
So, on my last night here I was in line at the McDonald's, and I had already caught on that people don't order meals by asking for a "number one". I did that once and the person had to look at the menu to see what that was. So I was standing in line and I heard the person behind me say MAcSalsa, and I noticed the long MAc, rather than the short "Mic" that Americans say. And instead of Big Mac meal, the menu said "Big Mac menu", and I remembered how Thais say "menu" differently and thought about how the French would say it. So when I got to the counter I very confidently said "Beeg MAc Menyuuu", and it worked!! She says, "Beeg MAc Menyuuuu" back to me and then says something in French that stuns me in my shoes. So I just go "oui", and that worked, too!!!
Dear Koji: Hi, there. Are you back? Welcome back. I miss you. How are you? I just got back from the airport. Pyui and Pyai went back to Thailand already. They will start to work next Monday. They left some pictures for you. Airport, airport. Happy time and sad time all happen in the airport. Seeing them going back, I feel that eventually we all have to go back to someplace that really belong to us. Philip will be the next one who is gonna leave here. Then who is the next? Everyone should have the courage to come and go, otherwise, life will be too difficult. I hope by the time I am leaving, I will be happy and just go. I am happy about where I am and where I have to go. It is all mental. Oh, last night, I was talking on the phone with K, and he said that he felt that I have changed. He said I am happier. I am not sure what he meant, but it is nice to know that people think you are happier than before. So, you are home now. No problem coming back? What are you gonna do in New Jersey? Honey, be good.
Wednesday, August 19, 1998
email - Geneva, Switzerland
Dear Feng,
Four days in Geneva are way too much. It is a city I would never want to live in. it's way too boring. every new section I find, there's nothing interesting. today is my last day and I think I'll spend most of it here at the UN and listen to what is going on. This morning was interesting. Representatives from Eritrea and Ethiopia were yelling at each other about the war going on between them this summer. The situation is tragic, but I was distracted by the ear thingie. I kept on switching to the other languages to see how the translators were keeping up with their yelling. They seemed to be doing well, even the Mandarin translator, but maybe they were leaving a lot out. Every seat in the room has those ear thingies. I was trying to steal one for you, but it's permanently connected.
For today I'm just going to sit in on more sessions and go to another lunchtime meeting. I'm not sure what I'll do after the UN, I hope I'm not bored to death this evening. I think I'll take a long walk down the river that drains Lake Geneva, River Rhone. It looks pretty nice, so if I have film left in my camera I'll finish it. Tomorrow I'll wake up and go to the airport since my flight is in the morning.
ok, if I don't e-mail you later, I will from New Jersey.
Series VIII, Roll 10 (Pentax ZX-5n, Tri-X):
United Nations:
Frame 24 - Just a hallway. I was just wandering around the U.N. building. I don't think there was anything special about this shot, I just wanted one from inside the building.
Frame 25 - Exterior shot. Again, I don't think there was anything special. I liked the lines. I didn't even note where this was around the U.N.
Frame 26 - Another exterior.
Frame 27 - No idea what this was or where it was. I wish I had some description for it.
Frame 28 - Inside the Sub-Commission hearing room. Obviously not in session. Obviously after wandering around and outside, I found my way back in and up on this balcony, but I didn't take note how I found it or got there.
Geneva Photostroll: I left the U.N. because I had nothing more to do there and didn't know anyone. I had the rest of the afternoon and evening and went for a long walk.
Frame 30 - I think this is the River L'Arve. I vaguely remember this hill I climbed to get this shot. That fountain in the background is in Lake Geneva and is in other shots I took around the lake.
Frame 31 - I think this is the River Rhone from all the greenery.
Frame 32 - This is where the L'Arve and the River Rhone met. I didn't get the swirls created by the confluence of the blue and brown waters. It was a remarkable sight, better captured in color, although you can sort of see the difference in tone. The clear, blue, fast-moving River Rhone is on the right in this shot, the slow, muddy, brown L'Arve is on the left. The negative is flipped, so in reality it's the opposite. I was way up high on a railroad bridge that I found my way up to, and you can see the shadows of the arches on the water.
Frame 35 - 'Nuther shot of the Rhone.
Four days in Geneva are way too much. It is a city I would never want to live in. it's way too boring. every new section I find, there's nothing interesting. today is my last day and I think I'll spend most of it here at the UN and listen to what is going on. This morning was interesting. Representatives from Eritrea and Ethiopia were yelling at each other about the war going on between them this summer. The situation is tragic, but I was distracted by the ear thingie. I kept on switching to the other languages to see how the translators were keeping up with their yelling. They seemed to be doing well, even the Mandarin translator, but maybe they were leaving a lot out. Every seat in the room has those ear thingies. I was trying to steal one for you, but it's permanently connected.
For today I'm just going to sit in on more sessions and go to another lunchtime meeting. I'm not sure what I'll do after the UN, I hope I'm not bored to death this evening. I think I'll take a long walk down the river that drains Lake Geneva, River Rhone. It looks pretty nice, so if I have film left in my camera I'll finish it. Tomorrow I'll wake up and go to the airport since my flight is in the morning.
ok, if I don't e-mail you later, I will from New Jersey.
Series VIII, Roll 10 (Pentax ZX-5n, Tri-X):
United Nations:
Frame 24 - Just a hallway. I was just wandering around the U.N. building. I don't think there was anything special about this shot, I just wanted one from inside the building.
Frame 25 - Exterior shot. Again, I don't think there was anything special. I liked the lines. I didn't even note where this was around the U.N.
Frame 26 - Another exterior.
Frame 27 - No idea what this was or where it was. I wish I had some description for it.
Frame 28 - Inside the Sub-Commission hearing room. Obviously not in session. Obviously after wandering around and outside, I found my way back in and up on this balcony, but I didn't take note how I found it or got there.
Geneva Photostroll: I left the U.N. because I had nothing more to do there and didn't know anyone. I had the rest of the afternoon and evening and went for a long walk.
Frame 30 - I think this is the River L'Arve. I vaguely remember this hill I climbed to get this shot. That fountain in the background is in Lake Geneva and is in other shots I took around the lake.
Frame 31 - I think this is the River Rhone from all the greenery.
Frame 32 - This is where the L'Arve and the River Rhone met. I didn't get the swirls created by the confluence of the blue and brown waters. It was a remarkable sight, better captured in color, although you can sort of see the difference in tone. The clear, blue, fast-moving River Rhone is on the right in this shot, the slow, muddy, brown L'Arve is on the left. The negative is flipped, so in reality it's the opposite. I was way up high on a railroad bridge that I found my way up to, and you can see the shadows of the arches on the water.
Frame 35 - 'Nuther shot of the Rhone.
Tuesday, August 18, 1998
email - Geneva, Switzerland
dear josephine,
so intervention finished, I need something to do for today and tomorrow. I think I'm done observing for today; too boring. Yesterday I went to a cemetery but that wasn't too exciting. Tomorrow I'll come to the UN again although I've met everyone I'm likely to meet and I've handed out everything I have to hand out except one more copy of my paper, which I'd better keep as my personal copy. I had like five or six copies of my intervention left and I left them on a table and when I came back, they were all gone. So that was great! Unless security came and threw them out. Maybe the representative from Myanmar threw them out!!! That would be so cool. But he wasn't there when I made the intervention, so he wouldn't have known anything about it. Not that he knows anything about anything. Jerk.
So I'm off, think I'll head out and go for a run. much much love.
so intervention finished, I need something to do for today and tomorrow. I think I'm done observing for today; too boring. Yesterday I went to a cemetery but that wasn't too exciting. Tomorrow I'll come to the UN again although I've met everyone I'm likely to meet and I've handed out everything I have to hand out except one more copy of my paper, which I'd better keep as my personal copy. I had like five or six copies of my intervention left and I left them on a table and when I came back, they were all gone. So that was great! Unless security came and threw them out. Maybe the representative from Myanmar threw them out!!! That would be so cool. But he wasn't there when I made the intervention, so he wouldn't have known anything about it. Not that he knows anything about anything. Jerk.
So I'm off, think I'll head out and go for a run. much much love.
email - Geneva, Switzerland
hez josephine,
I couldn't get a computer at the internet café last night, so I’m writing from the UN now. yesterday I woke up early to make sure I get to the UN on time. good boy that I am. responsible boy that I am. I dress casual. I get to the UN and it takes a little bit of effort to get my id badge, but I get it. ID badge, it's the kind that once you get it, you can go just about anywhere, that's the kind of badge that I like.
I find my way to the sub commission session room and I explore and eventually find a list of speakers. after someone arrives at the desk nearby, I ask how I can get on the list. he tells me all I have to do is tell him and he asks which agenda item. I tell him 7a. and he says, oh you have to do it today because it is closing today. no problem! he tells me I have to make 5 copies of the intervention for translation and for the next half hour I’m running around finding paper, finding a copier, making copies, and stapling them. I made 15 extra copies just in case. so then eventually I found out I have to sit at one of the tables with the microphones, so I finally find an empty place for ngo’s. so I sit there and listen for a long time. I get up a few times to stretch or go to the bathroom, and it happens that at the time I'm up seeing if I can find out when I have to speak, HRA is called and I don't answer because I’m not sitting at the table with that thing on my ear. no problem! I panic and run back to the person I talked to earlier and he tells me to go tell the secretary that I’m here. so fyi, I actually spoke to the secretary of the sub commission, "hey you, I’m from HRA and I’m here". he tells me to sit down and they go through the list again at the end for organizations that missed their first call. so I sit for a longer period of time. finally I’m called, the last one, and I make the intervention no problem. it was like being underwater for ten minutes. actually I don't know how long I spoke because since I was the last one and they were ahead of schedule (I guess), they didn't run the clock. which disturbed me at the time since I would look up to see how much time I had left and the clock wouldn't be going.
so I finish my intervention and turn around and there is this mob of people behind me and I go, "good lord". I quickly realize that they all want copies of my intervention. so I pull out the extra copies of my intervention and they're like vultures and all of them are gone in 20 seconds. agenda item 7 closed and the rest of my time here is cake. I’m still wondering what to do tomorrow. ok, I gotta go, there's a lunchtime meeting I want to attend. I’ll write more later. luv u, much,
I couldn't get a computer at the internet café last night, so I’m writing from the UN now. yesterday I woke up early to make sure I get to the UN on time. good boy that I am. responsible boy that I am. I dress casual. I get to the UN and it takes a little bit of effort to get my id badge, but I get it. ID badge, it's the kind that once you get it, you can go just about anywhere, that's the kind of badge that I like.
I find my way to the sub commission session room and I explore and eventually find a list of speakers. after someone arrives at the desk nearby, I ask how I can get on the list. he tells me all I have to do is tell him and he asks which agenda item. I tell him 7a. and he says, oh you have to do it today because it is closing today. no problem! he tells me I have to make 5 copies of the intervention for translation and for the next half hour I’m running around finding paper, finding a copier, making copies, and stapling them. I made 15 extra copies just in case. so then eventually I found out I have to sit at one of the tables with the microphones, so I finally find an empty place for ngo’s. so I sit there and listen for a long time. I get up a few times to stretch or go to the bathroom, and it happens that at the time I'm up seeing if I can find out when I have to speak, HRA is called and I don't answer because I’m not sitting at the table with that thing on my ear. no problem! I panic and run back to the person I talked to earlier and he tells me to go tell the secretary that I’m here. so fyi, I actually spoke to the secretary of the sub commission, "hey you, I’m from HRA and I’m here". he tells me to sit down and they go through the list again at the end for organizations that missed their first call. so I sit for a longer period of time. finally I’m called, the last one, and I make the intervention no problem. it was like being underwater for ten minutes. actually I don't know how long I spoke because since I was the last one and they were ahead of schedule (I guess), they didn't run the clock. which disturbed me at the time since I would look up to see how much time I had left and the clock wouldn't be going.
so I finish my intervention and turn around and there is this mob of people behind me and I go, "good lord". I quickly realize that they all want copies of my intervention. so I pull out the extra copies of my intervention and they're like vultures and all of them are gone in 20 seconds. agenda item 7 closed and the rest of my time here is cake. I’m still wondering what to do tomorrow. ok, I gotta go, there's a lunchtime meeting I want to attend. I’ll write more later. luv u, much,
Monday, August 17, 1998
Cemetery - Geneva, Switzerland
Series VIII, Roll 10 (Pentax ZX-5n, Tri-X):
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Sunday, August 16, 1998
email - Geneva, Switzerland
I got to Geneva no problem, it's a pretty boring city. How is Anita? She returned right? Let her know that her cousin will be put on trial soon in Burma, but it's all for show to treat the matter seriously and scare other people from trying to do the same thing. She will be released, I don't know when, but she won't be harmed. the Burmese military government is pretty stupid, but not stupid enough to harm U.S. citizens. I'll mention it to whoever I can meet at the U.N..
I haven't been to a U.N. session yet. I got to Geneva yesterday, changed money, wandered around the airport to get used to the atmosphere, and then grabbed a taxi to my hotel which wasn't far away but cost about $15!! My room is tiny but it's clean. But for $50 a night? Wow! After I checked in, I went out and walked down to the Rhone River which drains Lake Geneva. If I stayed at the hotel, I would have fallen asleep. It was dream-like. the sun set around 20:00 and I got back well after dark.
I went for a jog this morning and the U.N. is less than a mile away. I'll still take the bus there tomorrow to keep from getting tired. It already feels like I've been here a long time, or time is going by really slow. I took a boat ride out onto Lake Geneva which was relaxing and perfect because my energy was low and I wouldn't have any other time to do it. It would be nice if you were here. The weather is really, really nice. Europe in the summer, I guess. But their winters probably suck.
So that's all I've been doing, walking around. There are no interesting pictures to take and time is going by really slow. It's all dream-like, like I said.
U.N. stuff starts tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I won't make the intervention tomorrow. I think I have to hand in the written copy a day in advance, so I'm looking at Tuesday (so I'll only wear a suit on Tuesday). Otherwise I'll just be observing and trying to talk to people but I have no idea what to expect. Who knows? I might start my oral intervention and they'll stop me and say, "yea, yea, we know all about that...NEXT!!" I would probably crumple the pages into balls to throw at them.
I'll let you know how tomorrow goes. I'm thinking of you all the time and there are moments that my breath just stops when I think of how cute you are and the cute things you do. much much love,
I haven't been to a U.N. session yet. I got to Geneva yesterday, changed money, wandered around the airport to get used to the atmosphere, and then grabbed a taxi to my hotel which wasn't far away but cost about $15!! My room is tiny but it's clean. But for $50 a night? Wow! After I checked in, I went out and walked down to the Rhone River which drains Lake Geneva. If I stayed at the hotel, I would have fallen asleep. It was dream-like. the sun set around 20:00 and I got back well after dark.
I went for a jog this morning and the U.N. is less than a mile away. I'll still take the bus there tomorrow to keep from getting tired. It already feels like I've been here a long time, or time is going by really slow. I took a boat ride out onto Lake Geneva which was relaxing and perfect because my energy was low and I wouldn't have any other time to do it. It would be nice if you were here. The weather is really, really nice. Europe in the summer, I guess. But their winters probably suck.
So that's all I've been doing, walking around. There are no interesting pictures to take and time is going by really slow. It's all dream-like, like I said.
U.N. stuff starts tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I won't make the intervention tomorrow. I think I have to hand in the written copy a day in advance, so I'm looking at Tuesday (so I'll only wear a suit on Tuesday). Otherwise I'll just be observing and trying to talk to people but I have no idea what to expect. Who knows? I might start my oral intervention and they'll stop me and say, "yea, yea, we know all about that...NEXT!!" I would probably crumple the pages into balls to throw at them.
I'll let you know how tomorrow goes. I'm thinking of you all the time and there are moments that my breath just stops when I think of how cute you are and the cute things you do. much much love,
Saturday, August 15, 1998
Geneva, Switzerland:
Series VIII, Roll 10 (Pentax ZX-5n, Tri-X): Street shooting. Pretty dead streets in Geneva. I think this is right after I arrived. After checking in, I immediately hit the streets with my camera so that I didn't fall asleep.
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Friday, August 14, 1998
going to Geneva! I am so proud of you. You are so brave going there by yourself. I think you are really cool. School will begin next week, and everything has to go back to normal, get up early and study. I am thinking of things to do aside from school. I will practice guitar every day. You gave me a good start playing guitar. Thank you very much. I also will go on taking pictures. I also want to explore some other places around San Francisco. I hope you can find a job and stay in San Francisco. I know this is not an easy thing. I just hope. If you end up some place else, I will be happy for your decision too. You are so brave that I decide to be as strong as you are. It is OK to live apart, if we can live apart but together, then it means that there is something good between us. It means that we both are mature and responsible for ourselves. I am willing to see how strong our bond is. Living apart or getting through the stressful time is the best way to see it. Have a safe and wonderful journey. fly safely and enjoy. I will be watching you just like you have been always watching me. I love you. yu-feng
Tuesday, August 11, 1998
Dear Josephine, you are the light of my life. your smile, your laugh. you are so funny. you make my days shine! I love you. never forget this.
Dear Koji: I feel that things are different than before. I feel much more relaxed when I am with you now. I can see how good our relationship will be by just being myself. See, the world is so big that we have to explore by ourselves. Sometimes, we have to go far away physically or mentally but we will always have each other to come back. We are each other's kite. "Go farther." (never forget this too.) I love you, Josephine ka
Dear Koji: I feel that things are different than before. I feel much more relaxed when I am with you now. I can see how good our relationship will be by just being myself. See, the world is so big that we have to explore by ourselves. Sometimes, we have to go far away physically or mentally but we will always have each other to come back. We are each other's kite. "Go farther." (never forget this too.) I love you, Josephine ka
Tuesday, August 04, 1998
Series VIII, Roll 9 (Pentax ZX-5n, T-Max 100):
Taipei, Taiwan: I don't remember if Josephine and I flew to Taipei on the 3rd or the 4th. I don't remember leaving Kaohsiung or flying to Taipei. I don't remember if we flew to Taipei. But on the 4th, we were in Taipei. I bought cheap glasses frames. We may have gone places that I might have recognized years later when I was in Taipei in March 2005. That night, she took me to the airport to fly back to Bangkok to catch my flight back to the U.S.
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Bangkok, Thailand: All I remember about the one last night in Bangkok is from photos. I went to a bar that had live music. I don't remember where I stayed or if I stayed in the YMCA (I must have), or how I got from and to the airport, maybe bus.
Frame 32 - I did talk to this singer to tell them they were really good, but that's all I remember.
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Bangkok, Thailand: All I remember about the one last night in Bangkok is from photos. I went to a bar that had live music. I don't remember where I stayed or if I stayed in the YMCA (I must have), or how I got from and to the airport, maybe bus.
Frame 32 - I did talk to this singer to tell them they were really good, but that's all I remember.
Monday, August 03, 1998
Series VIII, Roll 9 (Pentax ZX-5n, T-Max 100):
Kaohsiung, Taiwan:
Frame 3 - The street below, shot from my uncle's apartment building.
Frame 3 - The street below, shot from my uncle's apartment building.
Saturday, August 01, 1998
Series VIII, Roll 9 (Pentax ZX-5n, T-Max 100): Taiwan Roadtrip
Frame 3 - No idea where this was. I do remember the night before, Josephine and I looking for a motel to stay in, and that morning. But I have no memory of where we went this day or the return to Kaohsiung.
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