I’ve been running the gamut of feelings towards Sakuko, even touching on rage and betrayal. It’s very confusing and hard to deal with. Oddly enough, at the same time I’m having very forgiving feelings towards family, perhaps Audrey's influence on me. We may not get along or even like each other, but I don’t sense any malice or double-dealing in this family. Not that I know this family.
My thoughts drift back to this past summer. A very hot July 4. The streets around Providence lined with cars. We had a barbecue that day with a bunch of Bob’s friends. The sun went down, they all went over to some park to watch the fireworks and I stayed at the apartment to read and watch some TV.
What a weird summer, I stayed with Bob and Tom, with family. I’m not particularly close to them. We’re familiar and I respect them and extend courtesies, but we’re not warm.
Why do they live together? Do they need each other in some way? Do they get support from each other from other family scars, or is it just practical to live together? If they did, it would be passively, no doubt. They are closer to each other than they are with me, meaning they are close enough to yell at each other. When Bob yelled at Tom, that took me totally by surprise. I couldn’t imagine either of them yelling at me that way. I wouldn’t give a shit if they did, maybe they know that.
