Almost halfway through April - the hardest month to get through and this year is no exception. There’s a sense of my whole world crumbling around me and nothing being real and nothing having meaning or mattering. I’m getting closer to accepting that Josephine and I are through, but I’m still a far way from coming to terms with it and closing with her. I need to do something major to reach closure, I’m thinking of something with all the photographs I have of her, compiling them into one collection. Unlike with Amina, I’m not going to throw anything away. Josephine I want to keep with concrete memories.
I don’t know what the purpose of that is, it does feel empty, and the flood of memories is overwhelming. She was so full of life and she made me feel happy, she was a little ball of fun. But we had problems that we couldn’t get over and so it ended and it’s better that way. It’s hard to look to the future and think I might want to be with someone again, I just don’t see it. I’ll get over her, I know, but I will be just as sad thinking about her even when I do.
