It’s been over a year since the first entry in this journal. I figure a year from now, maybe I’d want to see what I was doing a year ago.
This past semester at Oberlin was pretty bad overall. I fucked up again and my graduation might be delayed. Again. I don’t know, I don’t really care. I spent Commencement Week here with Sakuko. I took her back to Columbus yesterday. The steel drum band has its traditional, pre-Commencement Illumination gig tonight, and then I leave for New Jersey. I’m going to be doing Summer School at Brown and staying at Bob’s. After Sakuko’s Summer session, she’ll probably come to Providence to stay for a while; see more of the U.S.
My romantic life is perfect. My academics are in shambles. My social life is non-existent. Family life is the same shit. Mentally I’m numb, confused, also happy. Oh, I guess that sort of sums it up. I really think my mental health is better now; there is a difference. Not perfect, no need to be. It’s pretty much where I want it. I still would rather be dead, but I can deal with being alive. I am sort of disgusted with myself but I don’t feel things as extremely as I did at the beginning of the year. I still hate people, people still suck, but I can’t say that I’ve gotten close to anyone except Sakuko.
