Isn’t life about survival and finding ways to survive? I don’t have to do anything to survive, everything is just handed to me in my glorious privilege. There are plenty of people who would love to be in my position and they would probably be making better use of the privilege. Not me, no. All it has done is stifle me and has been instrumental in keeping me from not starting my life. I haven’t done anything, I have no ambition, everything is just handed to me.
I haven’t starved enough to get anywhere with music. I can literally afford to be self-conscious and inhibited. My inspiration is totally self-destructive instead of creative. Music isn’t about survival, and that’s why it’s so hard, that’s why I hate what I come up with. It feels good to write something, but inevitably I realize that what I wrote was crap.
