It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a New Jersey winter, but not even the worst winter storm of the century could touch this cozy commode on the cliffs. We got five inches of soggy snow that got soggier today in 40 degree weather.
I don’t mind shoveling snow now. Even though it was one of the despised chores while growing up. I don’t mind doing dishes and cleaning up, either. The ‘rents are aglow about how “good” I am now. Idiots. I’m not being good, I’m working my way, paying my fare.
They were talking at me last night and I was trying hard to not pay attention, but I caught something about “pulling out old photographs” so that I can see how nice they were when I was little and what good parents they were and how they took me to all these places. How pathetic. Pulling out photographs to prove to their children that they are good parents? How pathetic.
I also feel that part of what they are paying for is my family participation. So eating meals with them is a reasonable sacrifice. I’m not saying it’s worth it in the long run. There is little job satisfaction when they think they can call me down to the kitchen at any hungry whim they have. Especially when they just ate two hours ago. I never eat three meals in a day.
I also resent them thinking they can come physically close to me. If this were a contract, I’d make sure there was a three foot radius around me that they couldn’t invade.
You’d hope that doctors enter the medical profession to help people. I’m sure many doctors do. Many enter the medical profession and don’t mind the big bucks. Then there are the ‘rents who charge Japanese patients thousands of dollars more for treatment because they know Japanese will fork over whatever you charge. That’s Japanese culture. Avoid Chinese patients because they’ll argue and try to bargain.
It does occur to me that I don’t have a flawless argument against the ‘rents. Even keeping track of my hatred doesn’t build a wall of defense justifying any and all of my future actions. But I don’t need a flawless defense, I have my feelings and I know what I’m going through. No one else does and I don’t have to justify myself to anyone. Family is an unpredictable thing. There are no rules to how emotional dynamics work within them. The objectivity of rationale does not apply in family affairs.
