I hate living in the city. Dust, dirt, and grime everywhere. I hate feeling lonely. I hate the material world. I hate the world around me.
The ‘rents haven’t called much; you’d think that they’d be more interested in their investment. I wonder if the guilt is catching up to them. Yea, right. They have no idea, not a clue. When they did call, they asked about school and I gave them a frigid reaction. I didn’t tell them outright that I hated it, but I was evasive and tried to convey that I was not going to speak my true feelings on the matter. They didn’t press. They avoided the topic thereafter.
They know that my going to law school is for them. They don’t care about what I want to do or how I feel about what I’m doing. They don’t know anything about me. It would blow their minds if they had an inkling of what I was really about. I can’t even guess what their reaction might be to finding anything about me.
Avoiding the problem is the pattern for them. They don’t want to know so they hide their heads in the sand. They can’t face up to the truth. They can’t even find a simple way to be honest and make it sound good, “Life is hard, anything you do is hard, stay in law school or we stop sending you money”. Even that is better than glossing everything over and insisting that law school is really what I want to do, as if they know me and what I want to do.
