My life couldn't be more boring. Looking for jobs is futile without any prior experience. Dead in the water. Fortunately, Tria hooked me up with the catering company she works for. At least it's something. Tria is actually the fastest developing thing in my life. I do trust my judgment in friends, but it really is hard to negotiate someone who didn't go to Oberlin. Oberlin has become a curse. It feels like something happened there that wasn't normal and now we have to try to live with it in real society. Agent Oberlin. We have to recover and recuperate from Oberlin.
I can't make assumptions with Tria the way I can with Oberlin folk, and it doesn't matter how careful I am with words. Even if I hit the exact right word to express my thought, it doesn't feel like Tria takes the step in my direction to understand the meaning of the word and why I chose that particular word. It's frustrating trying to explain myself and not being able to get through because our assumptions and backgrounds are totally different. Or that we didn't have the same college education. I can't start painting a picture and count on her to fill in blank spots. If I want to communicate an apple, I have to paint an apple.
Sometimes I don't know if she's understanding what I say the way I mean it. Sometimes I don't know if she's listening. Sometimes I don't know if she wants to hear what I'm saying at all. Oberlin was intense. We derived meaning from our experience by keeping open ears. In the real world, there's more, "I never had to think about this before and I really don't want to now. So I'm going to stop listening."
But she's been wonderful and I feel like I'm getting a lot from her. She brings things out in me which I really need. Things are tight and cozy with my Oberlin cronies. They are stimulating, but they also are not challenging in the way you get when you deal with someone who is totally different from you. With Oberlin folk, I can ask them what they studied, what they did, and where they hung out, and I'd have an idea about what they know and how to approach them. With Tria, I'm totally in the dark. I'm confounded by her use of "girls" in reference to women.
Well, whatever I feel about Tria, it's because I want to feel that way about her. She's not getting in too deep. I appreciate her and I think she's good for me, so I hope we continue being friends.
