No one I know knows about my past. I mention to people how my goal is to not live past 34 and no one knows anything about that or where that comes from.
I have no connection to my past. I don't have a past to connect to. I don't know where this thought is coming from. The only remnant I have from high school is Liz. Very odd. She's an old friend and acquaintance now. It's like we never went out. I don't think of her as an ex-girlfriend at all. The only emotional remnant I have of high school is Shiho and I lost that connection a long time ago.
I think back to the years in high school with Shiho. I think of her house in Fort Lee. I try to see what I remember. I remember the basement where we mostly hung out. The color of the room, watching MTV. The stairs that led upstairs. At the top of the stairs, turn left and it's the kitchen. Turn right and there's a hall, her room was just to the right, the living room was left from there. We were teenagers. There was one time that her mom came home and was furious that we were hanging out in her room. She shouldn't have been bringing boys into her private place. But that's where she wanted me. I didn't appreciate her until almost ten years later when it was too late.
