We visited Bob in Philadelphia this evening. Waste of time. I had a bit of a breakthrough, though. I'm not accepting money from the 'rents anymore. They were getting on my nerves about what I should have done when I hurt my back. I just wanted them to shut up and made the point that they don't have to pay for it. They're not the ones paying for it, so shut up. The bitch responded, "No, we're not going to pay for it".
They give money as an expression of love, they admit it, they've said as much. So an issue about money is an issue about love. It's all or nothing, and if they're going to make an issue about it, fuck it, I don't want their love/money. I never wanted or needed their love in the true sense of the word, but if they decide to withhold what is their expression of it, fuck it. If they ran out of money, that means they run out of love. Conversely, if I don’t need their money, I don’t need their love.
I made the evening tense after that. Driving home they tried to make amends, inquiring about the price of my plane ticket. When they told me they would pay for the ticket, I told them no, don't bother, I could afford it. Right at that point, police lights start flashing behind us. They got a ticket for making an illegal left turn. Years ago I would have snidely told them that they need the money more than I do. And they do need the money more than I do. They make ten times more than I do and they need the money more than I do.
