Nobuko has been gone for a week and a half. We'd been spending a lot of time together. We communicate well, and that has been a comfort even though we don't always get along and less often agree. Nevertheless, if I say something to her, I can be fairly confident that she understands what I said the way I meant it. And her arguments against what I say are always logical and well-founded. After spending so much time together, I miss her presence when she's gone. She'll be back in a few days.
Cat and I have spent some concentrated time together in the past few days. A completely different energy exists between Cat and me. It's very charged, bordering on unfriendly, but sometimes very open and intimate. Sometimes open and unfriendly. But she's real to me and we connect. Again, she understands what I say the way I meant it.
I genuinely like Cat, and I can't say that about other acquaintances in my life. There's an affection there that doesn't exist with, say, Nobuko. But it is still tentative with Cat. She is still disposable. If we don't become closer friends, or maintain our current dynamic, or begin to trust each other, then the liking will probably disappear. The friendship has as much potential to fade as it does to grow.
