This has been the coldest Winter I’ve experienced in the Bay Area. It has been colder than even the Summers.
I look at my life since the beginning of this year, and nothing has changed. It has gotten even worse. I might as well accept that is how it's going to be, and get rid of any expectation that it’s going to be any different.
Stop looking. Stop striving. Stop desiring. Just be. Just go. Just float. Just observe. And learn. Look for something to learn; it’s there.
I decided to not drink alone for a week, and nothing hard at all for a week. I’m allowed to drink beer socially. I’ve started spending over a hundred dollars a month on alcohol. So far, no physical addiction. Only once last night I broke and had a single beer alone. I do have to tell myself not to drink, but that’s because it has pretty much become a habit. That’s all it is. Habits can be broken more easily than addictions.
